Why?

During my first pregnancy I met a girl at work who was carrying twins for an overseas couple. After getting over the initial "that's weird" thought that comes naturally after hearing something like that, I became somewhat intruiged with the prospect. Everyday I would gather as much information as I could during our half hour lunch break and I found that the more informed I became the less strange it seemed...my thoughts started to shift to "I could do that." After two fairly "easy" pregnancies and deliveries I started to consider surrogacy on a more serious level. One of the monumental moments I refer to in my final desicion to pursue this idea was following the delivery of my second child. After 2 hours of labor and 2 pushes, my attending nurse, familiar with my quick, non-eventful first birth story, commented on how much time and agony many women spend in labor (not to undermine my own pain and agony because although short lived, it was present!!) her exact words were "you were made for this". Though many would generalize this statement and go on to say that yes, all women were made to bear children, I took it as confirmation of something I had been toying with in my mind for the past two years.

With my own daughter and son, born just 11 months apart and already keeping me busy I wasn't sure I wanted to have anymore children (actually I begged the doctor to tie my tubes, thank goodness they don't honor those wishes in women experiencing extreme hormonal imbalances). Anyway, the idea of not having anymore children was fine with me, I had experienced the miracle of seeing my own child go from sonogram alien to a perfect newborn and then a monstrous toddler...however even at that moment of having just given birth, I knew that I would miss the experience of carrying a baby. Knowing that within me there was a life developing, feeling the movement, looking at ultrasounds in amazement at what was happening in a place that just months ago was a shallow emptiness. Something I was "born to do", something all women, according to the natural reproductive process should be able to do. The catch is, some can't. Some will miss out on the 9 (or 10) months of magic that is pregnancy, but they will still be able to reap the reward. There are about a million reasons why a couple may not be able to conceive or "birth" their own baby but those reasons don't subtract from their ability to be great parents and shouldn't keep them from experiencing the joys and umm...challenges that come with raising children.

Up next: Are you doing it for the money?