Untrue. Unless of course your friend was carrying royalty.
The "money" questions are the most popular and actually the most offensive questions that I get. To propose that I'm "doing this for the money" not only makes me feel cheap and used...it completely devalues the entire gesture. The Movie "Baby Mama" although not a very accurate depiction of the surrogacy process does actually address this question very well for me. In one scene, the client (who is seeking a surrogate) asks if the women were doing it just for the money. The agency owner replies with something along the lines of "I bet you do your job for the money, but that doesn't mean you don't enjoy it". Teachers want to change the world by guiding young minds, doctors want to help save lives and make people feel better, but very few of these professionals are volunteers.
Surrogacy is not something I just hopped into to make a quick buck. Yes, there is some compensation involved, but majority of women who have been pregnant and given birth will tell you that it isn't close to enough... and that once that labor pain strikes...they'd throw it all out of the window to have it just go away! It is an expensive process for the intended parents once you add up medical costs, legal fees, psychological screening, travel (especially of they are overseas), etc. When it comes right down to it, surrogate mothers actually only recieve about a quarter of the costs. Now there aren't any surrogacy laws to mandate who gets paid how much, in fact the "allowances" are gifts from the intended parents for the pain and suffering of carrying the child and although there are individual contracts involved, it is not an actual taxable income. So what's the payoff? I can honestly say that for the most part I didn't mind being pregnant, I would even stretch to say that I somewhat enjoyed it. It thrills me to know that I'm going to house and nurture someone else's baby and then on that sacred D-day, hand over to them the person that they had been yearning, praying, waiting, trying for, for so many years. As fulfilling as I know this experience will be for me, I cannot pretend that I would do it completely for free. A lot of the allowance goes to cover expense of maternity clothing, gas/food/mileage for doctors appointments, childcare for the surrogates own children, housekeeping for those "bedrest" times, prescriptions, ointments, belly bands, prenatal massages...okay, that last one isn't really a necessity but I'm a sucker for a good massage...especially when I'm achy and swollen from carrying an 8 lb baby where I normally have 1 lb of junk food....well...in the same vicinity.
In conclusion, yes, the money helps, and I don't know many people that don't need a little extra of it right now. But on the contrary, there are so many more factors that played into my decision to become a surrogate. It's not as simple as "get injected with and embryo, deliver baby, and get a fat check...cha ching!" In fact, there's much more involved than I ever knew starting out, and I'm just beginning to unearth it all! Sorry if I ruined anyone's get rich quick plans... you might be able to pay off a credit card or start a college fund for your child, but you will by no means "get rich"...
Up next: Whose baby is it anyway??
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